Sunday, September 18, 2005

misery.. the happy clown


what it is to find joy in pain.. misery the happy clown. i came across this pic just yesterday, and it dawned to me.. the artist was the only gifted person to capture the essence of being truly human. the irony is there...in plain sight yet very few people appreciate this reality. we are by nature very sad, pathetic individuals and we do not acknowledge this reality. hypocrisy, yeah that's what its called. every last one of us.. down to the most worthless of individuals...we are all hypocrites living amongst clowns...

Saturday, September 17, 2005



To see the world with such pessimism… I celebrate the fact that I am cynical; it almost melts my frozen heart…and it is by this actuality that I write yet another testimony on my god-forsaken existence. It dawned to me (while taking a crap) that the idea of still living it out on this mediocre era of wickedness gives me what every other skeptic pines for…another void of torment to plummet into. The irony of being alive: finding gratification where you suffer the most. There is nothing wrong with being a skeptic, to each his own anyway. To become one is not easy, you don’t choose to be cynical; you’re made to be one. Not many people comprehend my nature yet I acknowledge the fact that they are shallow and not very bright. I do not blame them for being that way…they just are, and nothing can change that. An idiot will die an idiot… And the curse upon the small intelligent cluster in which I belong to is too strong to struggle with. Yes, I am cursed to look after these mindless idiots who have nothing better to do than melt their brains with hairspray, drown themselves in shallow undertakings and be in conformity with the world. The other week while sitting in class, I overheard two of my classmates arguing about murder. One was saying ‘dai daw! Marder na yan pagpinagplanuhan’. I was itching to brawl with them, good thing it occurred to me that they weren’t that important to waste time on. Instead I had to put up with her repeating the same annoying word ‘Marder…marder…marder…o, tapos na ang klase? Yes! Dali dali ta maparelaks ulit ako ning buhok ngunyan. ’ you can just imagine the ordeal I had to go through for like an hour and a half…for crying out loud these people are pathetic! These are the kind we’re suppose to wipe out come ten years or so. If its wrong to stereotype then smite me, I get stereotyped all the time but what the heck. People label me as cynical but im proud. They comment on the way I speak and the way my mind works. They used to be the bane of my existence but I outgrew that. Instead I look down on them with pity, the poor insignificant worms will die out pretty soon. And me? There’s nothing wrong with me, im not the worm. I will be the daunting oversized fowl who eats the worm.
There is a fine line between being highly intelligent and being eccentric… either way, whichever side you put me on, I will still be higher than the worms. I am different because I am a nonconformist. THE CONFORMITY OF A NONCONFORMIST…the irony of the circumstances.

shit happens


what it is to be like every other drone in the world.. the conformity of a nonconformist. this is my first blog entry..hell, it isn't that hypothetical nor intelligent. my brain cells are fading away into oblivion.. il just post a better entry next time... if there is a next time. i don't do blogs that often by the way....